You might be a coffee addict….Today’s Humor of the Day

Instead of videos this week, why not try something to which we can all relate?

Ever think you adore too much coffee?  Well, you MIGHT be addicted to coffee IF…

• Every coffee company wants to have your picture on their packs of coffee powder.
• It’s 6:09 AM and you’re on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.
• Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.
• Starbucks has decided to use you as their official mascot.
• The dishes in your house are all coffee cups. (Ken McKinney)
• You ask, "Sleep? What’s that?"
• You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
• You can name the five flavors of JOLT.
• You can’t remember the last time you blinked. (Ken McKinney)
• You could live in a desert like a hermit, eating bugs for food, as long as you had enough coffee beans with you.
• You dip espresso beans.
• You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.
• You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.
• You go to the doctor because you’re afraid there might be blood in your Mountain Dew stream. (Becky)
• You have a mini-fridge under your desk. and a catheter. ( Daryl Banttari )
• You have a website about caffeine
• You have dark brown colored hair but you are a natural blonde and have never dyed it. (Ken McKinney)
• You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent. (Ken McKinney)
• You have on more than one occasion snorted instant coffee. (Ken McKinney)
• You have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA" ( Zoe )
• You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
• You know from experience caffeine tablets don’t dissolve in cola. ( Tony Hall )
• You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign. ( Zoe )
• You see nothing wrong with using water joe (the caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.
• You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.
• You think sleep is for the weak.
• You wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.
• You’d rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning. (Caffeine withdrawal is a real headache.)
• You’re on a first name basis with Juan Valdez ( Bruce Campbell)
• You’ve ever carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.
• You’ve ever knelt and prayed before a Starbuck’s logo.
• You’ve ever used the airplane’s Call button just to get a coffee refill.
• You’ve given up sex, TV, and all forms of meat for Lent before, but STILL can’t make it 40 days without caffeine.
• You’ve just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o’clock, just so "the milk doesn’t go bad over the weekend" (Naz)
• Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
• Your child’s name is Nescafe.
• Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.
• Your dog’s name is Folgers. (Ken McKinney)
• Your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.
• Your heart only beats twice an hour and your eyes won’t shut anymore.
• Your heart rate is always in triple digits.
• Your slogan is "Save water, drink coffee."
• Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.
• Your wife asked you to buy milk, bread and butter and you heard "buy coffee, coffee and coffee."

Source:  You Might Be Addicted To Coffee If…..

Enjoy!

Barbara Ling

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