Have YOU Unknowingly Driven Someone To Suicide?

Bullying sucks.

But have you been an unwitting part of it…and perhaps driven someone to suicide?

We all have stood there and done nothing, myself included. 

You know what I'm talking about – the gay jokes within our in-crowd, the degrading comments made about "Bro's before Ho's" (automatically making ANY women in whom your male friend is interested…a "ho"), the gleeful calling of fellow band or chorus members a "Choir Whore" or "Band Whore"….

Have you ever stopped to think just how hurtful such actions can be?

Two scumbuckets at Rutgers University obviously did not.  One of them taped his gay roommate's private moments and then broadcasted them on YouTube and Twitter.

What did the roommate do?

He committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge.

Here's more coverage:

• Gay Student's Death Highlights Troubling Trend
  
• Rutgers' Tyler Clementi complained of video voyeur before fatal fall from George Washington Bridge
  
• As social media shifts boundaries, a student's suicide shows a darker side
  
• Freshman Commits Suicide After Roommate Broadcast Gay Encounter Online

To say this is a tragedy beyond mere mortal comprehension is understating it dramatically.

I've said it before and I'll say it again – Bullying is one of the most heinous crimes a person can commit….and anyone who indulges in it should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

However, that's simply MY take on it…which is not the point of this post.

Instead, I'd like to focus on YOU.

How many of your friends are gay and YOU don't know it?

I'd reckon at least one.

And if you continuously in gay jokes/etc. as though trashing the way one was born….was acceptable…you're just contributing towards intolerance.

For all you know, your friend might want to come out…but knows if she or he did, they'd be looked down upon based upon prior jokes and interactions.

And if that friend finally DID commit suicide….you don't have to wonder why your friend didn't reach out to you in the last, final moments.

It's because you showed yourself to be a gay-basher as well.   When you stand by silently…you're contributing to the greater part of the problem.

So please….stop with the gay bashing or the rape jokes or the 'Bros before Ho's' comments.  Really take into consideration the fact you do NOT know from where your friends are coming, nor what their backgrounds might include.  For when you start walking in someone else's shoes….

Tolerance. It's something you'll encounter and appreciate.

If you'd like to learn more about this topic, I found the following resources for you:

• Teaching Tolerance
• Teaching Your Child Tolerance
• Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
• Stop CyberBullying
  

What you can do.

When your friends start gay bashing or what have you, take them aside and let them know – "Hey!  I know you don't mean anything by it, but listen man, it could be one of our friends who's that way, you know?  Let's talk about something else instead."

No judging, no holier-than-thou….just plain simple common sense.

It's really a Good Thing to do.

In closing, be there for your friends and the people you love. 

After all, you never know if your own child might be the one who ends up being bullied to death.  And that is something too horrible even to consider.

Barbara Ling