You know, I …. *love* email.
I really do! Being a dinosaur from the last epoch, I find it far more appealing then texting or (heavens forbid!) calling on the phone.
With that said, however, I….. *hate* spam.
With naked, profound, unadulterated passion.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
Those emails that state:
- Girls at $200 a pop
- Wonder pills for thrills
- Your erection will become huge
- Scare people with your tool today
- live webcam show today, you in? (no wait, that was from an Internet marketer)
- COCKZILLA is the word
- Have the pecker of her dreams
And you know, quite frankly, besides being an insult to my intelligence, such emails after 9,473 times simply frosts my petunias bigtime.
So I said to meself:
"Jeepers Self, I'll bet your annoyance would make a coolio nifty blog post indeed!"
Wouldn't you agree?
'Course you would!
So without any further ado, kindly enjoy:
What Stalwart Overly Enhanced Male Attributes Can Teach You About Popular Money Making Online
It can teach you soooo many things! Including:
1.) Saying it's so….ain't the same as seeing it's so
Repeat after me.
"I am a millionaire residing on white sandy beaches, sipping my luscious diet Coke while half-naked MacGyvers cavort across the glistening sparkly real estate."
Now…*prove* that I'm lying.
Unless you, well, do some massive searching on my lifestyle and/or property and/or (the lack of a) criminal record, you can be taken for a ride more easily than Charlie Sheen can hand-pick hotel rooms to trash.
So just like it's simple to claim your male attributes can be used as a bulldozer for football stadiums, it's easy enough to claim that you're big and huge and manly in the make-money department.
And….surprisingly difficult to finally get disproved.
Like with everything in life, an educated, research consumer is the best kind!
Next, you must remember that
2.) Big huge money claim results….can be (heavens!) photoshopped
It's amazing what you can do with Photoshop.
- Add a few dozen zeros to one dollar online….
- Insert yourself as Bill Gates body guard during a Microsoft lecture
- Do something like this:
I make my point, I think. 🙂
So…just like those adorably irritating emails that state you can add a couple of miles to your stalwart male member…
*And* produces the traffic jam picture that resulted….
You too *can* be attacked by photoshopped "success proof" that's simply been, well, photoshopped.
3.) The bigger the trigger doesn't necessarily mean the more satisfying the story!
Let's be serious here, shall we?
Marketers in the sex department would love for us to believe it's all about size.
- 'Cain't make no butter with a toothpick!
- 'Cain't conduct the orchestra with a magnifying glass!
- Cain't motionize the oceanize if you're captaining a toy boat!
Marketers in the make money department also would love to have us all believe it's all about size too.
- "Lookie at my Clickbank statements!"
- "Lookie at my Paypal account!"
- "Looking at my Photoshop skills!"
And so on, and so on….and so *on*.
Maddening, isn't it?
The next time you get a male enhancement email grinning happily at you from your inbox…
And the next time you receive hyped-up email that promises you the moon, 2 stars and the starship Enterprise….
If it sounds too good….it just about always is.
And you can take *that* to the bank.