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Putting AWAY your childhood with a Crystal Sword

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I’m feeling very pensive this moment.

This morning, all the utterly soul-searing agonizing joys of PMS barreled into my unwilling pysche, making me consider various channeling methods including indulging in MMA to the death, using a flame thrower to tidy up my kids’ rooms, evoking world peace by obliterating mankind and other similar gentle pursuits.  Being a mature, zen-like mom of magnificence, however, I opted instead  to start cleaning the basement in preparation for future home improvement.

Life was zooming along most peachy-like UNTIL…..I found my 24" crystal sword I had bought 6 years ago….still in its laquered case and buried underneath my kids’ old baby accoutrements.

Now, I vividly remember when I had bought this.  I was going thru some rather difficult martial challenges at the time (which, in hindsight, were brought on by my own immaturity.  I’m so glad I’ve evolved past that!!), and was attending one of my Lingstar merchandising jaunts in Long Island.   This particular business trip had me evaluating various and sundry crystal statues and goodies (some of which I sold on eBay, others of which I gave as teacher gifts, etc.).   I adore crystal anythings, and always love these kinds of buying opportunities.  

I had just made my final decision but then…….I saw….it.

It was a 24" lead crystal sword showcased on black velvet that just took my breath away.

I simply HAD to have it. 

But here was the opportunity - the sword had a tiny chip knocked out of the blade.  It reminded me OF me - brave, challenging, and yet pummeled by life in general; it not only spoke to me, it swept me up in its rapturous presence.  That imperfection infused the sword with even more appeal…and my desire to purchase it was reinforced 17-fold.  ‘course, marketer that I am, I did get the price knocked down considerably DUE to the flaw, which made the transaction even more zestfully pleasurable.  :)

I remember bringing the sword home and then realizing…gee, I have 2 small kids who would probably start swinging it around and knocking it to glittery shards day in, day out.  I had better store it away for the future!

And I suppose that’s exactly what I did…..6 years ago.  I stored it away…and then forgot about it….until this very moment when its brilliant shine and sparkle winked at me from the darkness once more.

Zoom now to an hour ago.  I had gently unlatched the laquered case and reverently lifted out the sword….yes, there was that chip still knocked out, and yes, it’s still one of the most wonderful crystal creations I’ve ever seen……

BUT……it no longer spoke to me.  

I had bought that crystal sword when my spirits were low and my self-confidence punctured.  I spent time running my hands over the blade today…and realize, I don’t NEED it anymore.

My crystal sword symbolized to me that even when you’re imperfect, you can still shine.  Back then, I needed a physical representation of that emotional challenge to reinforce my own personal inner strength. 

But nowadays…I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR!  Battered by 4 decades of living, master matriarch of my growing family, survivor and thriver of various physical disasters and character-building traumas….I know that no matter what befalls me, I can not only handle it….but come out stronger than ever as well.

So….now I have a wondrous crystal sword that is still securely swaddled in its foam covering and locked away from the prying eyes of the world…one that is waiting to speak its magic to someone else.

When I returned the sword back to its hiding place, I realized that part of me was putting away forever an aspect of my childhood.  I don’t NEED reminders to be strong anymore…I’ve transitioned from the person who needed support to the one who always gives it…and the one to whom people flock for inner strength.

Quite simply, returning the sword back to its case was an affirmation of me honoring my past life’s traumas….and then giving myself permission to let them go.

I’ll share with you now….it’s a bittersweet feeling. 

But one that I’ll remember for years to come.

Enjoy,

Barbara Ling

 

ps - speaking about swords, have you seen:


Kingdom of Heaven Short Medieval Dagger Sword of Ibelin


DRAGONS: Medieval Dragon and Sword Letter Opener NEW


KNIGHTS: Medieval Knight Armor & Swords Plaque NEW


MEDIEVAL Dragons WIZARDS SWORD & DRAGON Wall Plaque New


MUSEUM ARTIFACTS SILK MEN’S TIES MEDIEVAL SWORDS


17.5″ Robin Hood Dagger Medieval Crusader Knight Sword


3 Medieval Knights Full Plate Armor Shield Sword Statue

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Posted on : Sep 18 2008
Posted under Confidence, Healthy and Happy, Insights, Maturity, Personal, Self-esteem, Sexy After 40 |

2 Comments

  1. koujiNo Gravatar (38 comments.) on 18.09.2008 at 20:21 (Reply)

    interesting points you make about the sword and your life, and surprising too.
    i can relate to how sometimes the imperfection in an object is what draws you to it in the first place. but i like that you feel that you’ve reached a point where you can leave behind some of the thoughts and emotions you used to have, which you feel you no longer need.

    kouji’s last blog post..captivating Capiz: haiku poem #2

    1. BarbaraNo Gravatar on 19.09.2008 at 04:15 (Reply)

      Very true indeed! Success…it’s an attitude. :)
      Enjoy, Barbara


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