The older I get, the more I realize life is a rainbow. It’s never just black and white.

Morning!

You know, the past few weeks have been rather difficult for me – the things that have crowded for my attention would make Ringling Brothers weep in admiration!

That being said, it’s all part and parcel of life.  To those who have been given much, much is demanded, and let me tell you – the demands that had descended upon me like a gentle snuggly avalanche of angsting doom completely sapped virtually 100% of my usual never-say-diet attitude.

‘Course, that’s life and what parenting is all about.  I am blessed beyond belief that my kids are comfortable coming to me at all hours with all issues…and am grateful that I was able to save the day with style, grace, 39 cups of coffee and 5 shiny new bo-staffs.

But. 

What about me and my responsibilities? 

I have a great client for whom I’m designing a website and have been keeping that mainly on my local computer; have to get that online yesterday. 

I finally shed my self-pity regarding my karate skills and now attend/do classes to the best of my abilities, and shun any ‘poor me!’ atitudes that might want to creep in (yay!).

But the biggest lesson is this.

For the past, oh, hmmm, 10-20 years?, I’ve cloaked myself with an impermeable layer of self-preservation.  That meant that unless I really REALLY cared about an individual, I could not be hurt whatsoever; I never gave anyone that power over me to cause me to second-guess myself.  And even when I would become friends, I had zero problems with dropping those people in an instant if they showed the slightest hint of taking my friendship for granted.

Yes, it’s true – I’m very hair-trigger on that.  It’s a character flaw/benefit that saved my emotions dozens of times over the past 20 years.

But I digress.!    Anywhos, when I chose to see my interactions as black and white, it made life much easier for me.  Oh, sure, I learned how to view situations thru other’s eyes…but that was mainly an academic exercise.  If the situation impacted ME directly, there was only one right way to interpret it.  MINE.

The thing is, though…little actions that can cause big hurts simply have to be viewed thru the overall knowledge you have of a person…even if (and this is a big IF), those actions seem not to walk the walk your friend/family talks.

This idea goes against everything I’ve believed in the past 20 years.

But the past week has shown me – my way MUST span the whole rainbow spectrum; I cannot choose to accept only black and white views/actions.  Because if I hold the path and stay true to my ideals, I’ll end up losing something extremely precious in the end.

And that’s pretty stupid indeed.

So….let’s bring this post back to the most important person reading it – you!

Here’s your takeaway. 

Just because you might be an enlightened friend/family member who knows HOW to lose your ego to foster communications…it doesn’t mean the people you love have the same ability.

So you HAVE to (not "should" – HAVE TO) deactivate your normal self-defense shields and say, "Okay!  I know you don’t meant to hurt me – let me understand instead."

After all, what would you do if:

Remember, nobody ever woke up in the mornings and said, "Jeepers!  Let’s go hurt the ones we love!"  Well okay, some people probably do.  But they’re not those of whom I’m speaking right now. 

Friendship rocks.  Love rocks.  Life rocks most of all!  Be sure you give yourself permission to embrace it all.

Enjoy,

Barbara Ling

ps – speaking about Rainbows, have you seen:

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