Refusing TO hurt the ones about whom you care

Morning!

It’s a jolly 4:38am or so over here in LingLand, and of course that means, it’s time to be profound!  🙂

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve made some pretty super friendships online and also engaged in great conversations with RL folk as well (yes!  Contrary to general belief, I, Barbara Ling, do have a life outside of online!  🙂  ).  One of the popular topics of conversation centered upon holding to one’s integrity with regards to doing business online and holding friendships dear within one’s experiences.

Tell me now, and be honest.   Have you ever been tempted to take advantage of someone?

For me in my particular position, my gosh, it would be soooooo easy in so many ways!! 

• I could easily take the low road of many Internet marketers, use my 10+ years’ reputation and join in the ranks of Send Me Your Money and I’ll Send You Lots of Dreams route.
• I could easily take advantage of those folk with less life experience, play with their emotions, take what I wanted and then watch them realize, my gosh, my feelings were just simply irrelevant to her.
• I could easily promise the world to folks who follow my suggestions and then change the parameters so I end up owing nothing, while taking everything.

Sometimes, maturity and one’s own sense of integrity really puts a damper on looking out for number 1. 

I remember when I was in my 20s….I thought I knew everything there was to know about my emotions, my goals, my dreams in life.  I was Barbara Ling, strong, invulnerable, able to handle anything life could throw at me.  

I remember ‘way back then, my gosh, shortly after that extremely arrogant belief, reality came crashing through my windows with the force of a hurricane and utterly devastated me as well. Talk about character-building!  In hindsight, mind you, this was one of the best events that could actually occur to me….it ripped away any sense of invulnerability I might have possessed and left me utterly defenseless against the onslaught of horrible pain that followed.

Why was that good, I hear you ask?

Well, because of the following one teeny tiny reason. 

I was re-acquainted with my own humanity. 

I learned how one could NEVER say with 100% certainty how one would react….until one comes face to face with particular situations.  I discovered that while it was easy to take advantage of people (or at least, it was really easy for folks to take advantage of me!  🙂  ) , I would lose a truly important part of my character if I indulged in the same callous behavior.

In other words, my eyes were opened to what COULD happen to people who believed in their own invulnerabilities….or who failed to realize the person to whom they were giving their trust…held that trust as valuable as shower scum.

I’ve always had the aspect of the protector in my character (once I developed a personality, that is).  And I think that’s one reason why I tend to look out so much for my family and friends and colleagues…I put my experiences to work for their benefit, and hopefully as they continue in life, they pass on those lessons to the people about whom they care as well.

I’ve reached the point in my life where I can say I willingly choose to get hurt if I know I’m preventing my friends/family/colleagues from experiencing the same pain.  For me, it’s just common sense – it’s like a karate black belt choosing to take a hit so a white belt doesn’t have to.  It hurts ME far less.

So let’s now bring this post back to the most important person in this post…YOU!

What would cause YOU to sacrifice your own integrity?

• If someone offered you $957,362 to cheat a casual business colleague, would you?
• If someone offered you $957,362 to cheat a close business colleague, would you?
• If someone offered you $957,362 to cheat a friend, would you?
• If someone offered you $957,362 to cheat a family member, would you?

Well?

Going thru the above exercise can really cause you to take stock and think.  You want to reach the point where your values and integrity are second nature to you…and where you KNOW to draw the line in the sand.

At the end of every day…you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, you know…my family can be truly be proud of ME.

And….of course…you want to be proud of yourself as well.

So now….YOU tell ME.

Are you living your life in such a way that satisfies the above?  And if not….perhaps….is it time to change?

It is to think.

Enjoy,

Barbara Ling