SCREW Community! (My own personal take)
Sep 21st, 2009 | By Barbara | Category: Coaching, Community, Insights, Make Money, Make Things Simple
Hey all,
QUICK! BEFORE YOU do anything else (except breathe – you can breathe, I’m okay with that), go check out the awesome article by Men With Pens entitled:
Screw Community!
James truly outdid himself with this article; in a nutshell, he gently explains with the subtle touch of tractor trailer mowing over a maple cupcake the fact that freebies are NOT something that he, nor anyone else of that matter, owes anyone.
And considering the comments that are being generated (44 at last count), he certainly struck quite the chord with this, ahem, warm and fuzzy stance!
Here’s my take on this.
James is 150% on the mark (and no, I NEVER exaggerate, why do you ask?)
There are two types of communities – the one where the members give to one another, and the one where everyone lurks and takes and takes and lurks and…well…that’s it.
And true, I can accept that quite honestly, we’re ALL out for Number 1. It makes sense, doesn’t it? At the end of the evening, your success depends upon what you bring home for your family…NOT what freebies you give out to those who ask.
I look out for me, you look out for you – it’s just plain common sense.
BUT! We also have the CHOICE as to HOW we choose to help one another.
You should NEVER EVER EVER approach someone with the attitude of expectation. When someone does offer to help or respond to your plea…they’re giving you the rather awesome gift of their TIME.
Do you treat that like the gold it is?
I remember back in April when I was building the Income Fitness forums – I dropped James a note asking if he’d check it out and give me his opinion.
What I received from him blew me away – he systematically took apart my entire graphical look and feel and walked me thru ideas for major magnificent improvement.
I remember we exchanged 4-5 emails on the topic; each time, James would freely give his advice and suggestions and I would fling myself into the brave new world of colors interpretation, layout design and other things more bizarre to me than 2 headed turtles sunbathing on an ice floe.
I never forgot that time – the guidance James gave me helped me turn the whole layout into something most snazzy indeed.
When people go out of their way for me, I find myself consumed with a desire to return the favor 73 fold!
THAT’S the power of community – people give because they WANT to, not because they’re EXPECTED to.
i can honestly say that if Brad or Joanna or Ulla or John or Bill or Tom or James or Mat or Cath or Vince or Karen or Barbara or anyone who is part of MY personal community asks me for ideas or help, I’ll fall over myself in my eagerness to provide whatever thoughts I can!
Not because I HAVE to…but because I WANT to. I value these people in my life…and I’m always happy to walk the walk I talk.
Now…let’s turn this topic over to the most important person imaginable…YOU!
Are you in learning mode? If so, do you ask for help? And if so, do you proactively thank the person for the assistance they offer…or do you think to yourself, they’re too busy to read it, I’ll just take it and run?
Hmmm?
The best way to become part of a VALUABLE community is to embrace the fact that learning goes BOTH ways.
- Sometimes…you’re the teacher.
- Other times…you’re the student.
In both cases, you should NEVER have expecations of the other…but ALWAYS approach and treat them as you’d prefer yourself.
That’s what builds a strong and healthy community…respect. And appreciation.
And you can take THAT to the bank.
Enjoy,
Barbara Ling
PS – speaking about community, check out one of the friendliest ones online below!
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Here via James’ site and subscribed while I’m here (do I get something for free for doing that?
), I’m not at the point yet where I am inundated with people asking for free stuff. Well, maybe to put the link up on one of my blog because they like the look of my page rank!
If someone does help me, like the person who went out of their way answering my questions when I was using one of their WordPress themes, I certainly appreciate it and try to reciprocate in any way I can.
I wouldn’t dream of asking some established person who has obviously worked hard at what they do to help me for nothing.
Mik´s last blog ..I had a dream – matey
I believe in karma – what goes around, comes around. And helping out others who appreciate it and do NOT take advantage of it…it’s a great way to spread the goodness about.
I have to admit your post title captured my attention and some great points. People don’t seem realize anymore that freebies are not something “others owe them” – but a gift provided.
Now, we can argue on quality of some of those gifts – but still fact remains!
Alex Sysoef´s last blog ..Triple “P” Of Total WordPress Security
“Quality” is in the pocket of the buyer.
If they think they’ve received quality for the money they’ve spent….it is! 
I am deeply honored, Barbara, that you included me in your list of your personal community – and I can only say that you’re in mine as well!
It is so important to give and take. It is the same with people writing that their webpages, blogs, and squidoo pages do not get enough traffic. Without active participation you won’t get traffic – comment on other people’s pages and you will.
Ulla Hennig´s last blog ..The Beauty of Ornaments
Thanks so much for visiting and responding!! I’m glad in your community too.
Heh, I remember that time. Was fun. Made you think
The thing is, you came to me as someone I knew, had seen before, knew to be a good person, had displayed common sense, loyalty, even friendship.
I *knew* you. You’d made yourself known. You showed me that you had good intentions, were trying, and were someone that maybe didn’t even expect a kindness though you asked for something.
You were someone I trusted, and you were someone I knew I could trust.
And that made me want to be someone who helped you.
And I’d do it again today.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens´s last blog ..Screw Community
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for those words.
And the top too!