You know you’re sleep-deprived when….

Morning!

And yes, it IS morning.  It’s been morning since 3am!  It’s never NOT been morning! 

I’ve been up now for 5+ hours after having 3+ hours of sleep and yet….I’m so charged up with creation-mode, I find my fingers have glued themselves to my keyboard with the tenacity of 8,482 bloggers who just discovered Twitter has returned from the Land of the Living Dead!

‘course, 5+ straight hours of creation mode does tend to burn your mind more thoroughly than 12 campfires at a Arsonists’ retreat….and so I’m at the point where sheer insanity is kinda sorta ruling my mind.

Thus!  Without any further ado, please enjoy:

You know you’re sleep-deprived when:

You put your coffee cup in the washing machine to clean it after finishing the 52th pot.

You hear the bonking in said washing machine and think to yourself, what a lovely rumble of thunder.

You decide to walk outside to enjoy the non-existent rain.

You bump into the glass door of the kitchen because you forgot "glass" is "clear" and "unpeneterable."

You open the door, walk outside and wonder what you’re doing there in the first place.

You hear the washing machine cycle end take out the coffee cup, put it in the dryer and return to your computer.

You enjoy the lovely sounds of lightning in the distance.

Until you realize that lightning is the sound of your coffeecup splintering in the dryer.

You cackle to yourself, heee hee, someone is going have a lovely time cleaning the dryer!

Then you stop cackling as you realize that someone is you.

You return to your work and stare at your screen.

Your children run by you with their hair slicked up into mohawks and you think, gee, I would have tackled an INVERSE mohawk myself.  Amateurs!

You start to think….gee, an inverse mohawk.  That would look really spiffy at my next PTA meeting!

You sit very still until THAT idea goes away (see, I’m not THAT insane….)

You walk to the dryer to fetch your coffee cup.

And then you remember it’s already smooshed beyond repair.

You search for another coffee cup.

And realize the gallon Pyrex measuring cup you have is heat-resistant.

And comes in an attractive shade of Transparent.

You go to pour your coffee and remember, drats, I need to make fresh coffee.

You reach for the coffee.

And find yourself pulling out the habanero chili pepper powder instead.

You fill the coffeemaker, set it on BREW STRONG and take your first sip.

"Jeepers" you think to yourself – the BREW STRONG setting really works!

You return to your computer and realize, gee, your children have been ominously quiet for the past 30 minutes.

You propel yourself out of your chair with all the grace of a drunken wildebeest and call for your children.

You hear one of them respond.

From on the ceiling.

You gaze upon your child stuck on the ceiling and inquire to the other, kids, why  is your brother stuck to the ceiling?

And your kids answer, Mom, have you ever?

Heard about Superglue?

It really works!

You detach your child from the ceiling.

And give a lovely dissertation to your children about wanting to live past tomorrow.

Because sanity is good.

If you can ever regain it.

Sometime this century. 

Have a great weekend everyone,

Barbara

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ps – speaking about sleep deprivation:

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