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SURVIVING when your back is against the wall
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Morning!
And how are you today, this fine exciting Sunday?
Me, well, life as always is quite optimal. Kids are up, husband is up, planning out what joyful adventures (read: finish homework, make Mentos gysers, etc.) and oh yes! Blogging!
Today I’d like to chat about how to survive when your back is up against the wall….literally.
You see, it all happened Friday night. Friday was my beloved adult sparring class, and one of our exercises had us pair off and stand one person (yours truly) with their right foot smack against the wall. The objective? Your partner was to attack you, but you couldn’t move from that spot - you could only defend but NOT shift out of the way.
Now, this would be all peaches and roses and unicorns prancing in the flowery meadows if I had gone up against someone on my level or perhaps 4 levels up. Thing is, my partner was a 3rd degree black belt who (correctly) figured I was up for more intensive…participation? :)
Think of being in a whirlwind of fists flying at your face (we’re all wearing gear, of course), and you get a slight inkling as to my delightful character-building experience.
But here’s the super-coolio part! At one point, I was just plain suffused with shriekingly silent blinding panic. I realized that I was ‘way out of my league, and my partner was relentless.
The following conversation I had with myself probably lasted about 23 nanoseconds, but I can still vividly remember it these 3 days later:
"Self, call for a break you freakin’ moron, you cannot handle it! You’re out of your league!" But then I remembered another self-defense lesson in which my sensei refused to let me give up and told me, Barb, in a real-life situation, you just cannot call out "time." It’s do or die, remember?
So I pulled myself together and started the attack, all the while remembering to keep my foot motionless against the wall.
And you know something?
The panic fled.
At the end of the bout, my partner told me, "I increased the intensity (see Barbara’s reaction - Jeepers Sensei, ya’ think?) because I thought you could handle it - you’re much better than before!"
I’ll tell you, words like that from that man are gold (as he’s a brilliant fighter. It’s truly a pleasure to spar with him).
Which brings me to the point of this post.
The above situation is a literal "back against the wall" scenario; it involved physical safety. But your back can be thrust up against a figurative wall during business dealings, while raising your family, while taking chances with new, unexplored opportunities and the like.
In such a case, you have two and only two options.
Give up
or
Fight on
The plain simple truth is when it comes right down the basic essential of life…the only person upon whom you can count with 100% accuracy is yourself. Not your friends, not your colleagues, not your family, not anyone…..except….yourself.
Sure, your family would probably die for you, I know I certainly would for mine! But often, having your back against the wall happens when it’s just you and your enemy….nobody else is around to save you and rescue the day.
You…and only you….are the sole defining point between dying and surviving.
When it’s put that way, it certainly makes a difference, eh?
So how do you survive when your back is against the wall?
You honor yourself by NOT giving up no matter what.
It might require a physical effort to survive…it might require pulling an all-nighter to deliver the company project ahead of schedule, it might EVEN require you humbling yourself and your ego to accept an offer of assistance, etc.
But you do what you HAVE to do….and deal with the emotional aftermath once you have the luxury of time to pause and think.
Last Friday’s class (and the subsequent shaking that overtook me when I finally returned home and realized just how much better I’ve become and how much more resilient my inner-spirit is) showed me that admirably. And I made a promise I’d communicate to the audience about which I care as well - you!
Have a great Sunday,
Barbara Ling
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great post. and it really is the truth. while we do find security with our family and our friends, you never know when you’ll be forced to confront risk, danger, or damage, all on your own.
and when that moment arrives, it’s how you handle yourself, the choice you make, perhaps very quickly, under stress, which will define the possible outcomes for yourself.
kouji’s last blog post..captivating Capiz, a haiku poem
So very very very true.
Barbara