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On being a GREAT lover - Are you your body OR are you your soul?
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Morning all,
For today’s post, I’d like to focus on a very very very VERY simple concept….yet one that is often overwhelmed by the priority our society places on truly superficial aspects.
And it’s this:
Do you define yourself by your body…or by your soul?
It’s not as inane a question as you might think! Think about what today’s culture tends to embrace.
Is it Carmen Electra’s sterling personality or Tara Reid’s caring and compassion or Cameron Diaz’ exuberant view of life?
Or is it their hot bods?
Wait wait, let me give you another chance to answer correctly. Which is heralded more?
Brad Pitt’s parenting abilities? Shia LeBeouf’s knack for transforming? Orlando Bloom’s bedside manner?
Or is it their hot bods?
Methinks I’ve made me point!
Today’s culture embraces looks and popularity…things that can disappear faster than my children can invoke the Sock-Eating Monster of Doom and present me with 87 single socks out of 5 loads of laundry.
And when you think of this….gosh, it’s truly more pathetic than words can describe.
Consider the following. When your heart is hurting, or when your manager dumped 37 pages of C-code on your desk for you to debug when you barely can spell the letter "C", or when you want to share your true emotions with someone who represents a safe haven for your soul…..is it their looks that will comfort you, or their true understanding of your soul and spirit?
But do you EVER see that glorified in popular culture…heck, even in your friends’ relationships as well?
So many times I’ll hear from my VL friends and colleagues how utterly lucky THEIR friends are, because they scored with a young, athletic drop-dead gorgeous guy or gal and wow oh wow, they must be in heaven to have such bodies to command for their every whim!
I confess - I truly chuckle at that.
Perhaps it’s the wisdom my 4 decades have taught me…but for me, it’s always been the inner spirit and shining soul of a person that truly defines his or her beauty.
Sure, the outer packaging can be a bonus. But that outer packaging pales next to the mind that controls it!
In my younger years, I’ve toyed with boyfriends whose looks were so hot, they’d speed up global warming to the Nth degree…only to discover their, ahem, skills(physical AND emotional) were colder than an unthawed Ice Age Mammoth…..and I’ve also had the profound pleasure of experiencing guys whose looks made "nerdy" seem like "godlike"….but whose warmth and inner spirit made being with them the ultimate in sensual delight.
Like I said, the outer packaging can give hours of viewing pleasure, but it’s the mind and spirit that animate that body that really transforms a satisfying relationship on all levels.
So! Let’s bring this post back to the most important person who is reading it….you!
Are you hung up on how your body looks?
Do you angst over your weight or your hair or your wrinkles or that annoying little pooch of skin that never wants to disappear from your belly?
If so, you’re focusing on what you LACK…instead of what you HAVE in abundance.
Your outer packaging can always be improved should you choose by exercising and eating right - heck, I sure learned that by losing 52 pounds these past two years!
But if you want to jumpstart the sensual skills you can offer the individuals with whom you choose to share passion, you can enjoy:
- How to kiss a woman (this works for men too!)
- How to be a great lover
- How to give a sensual massage
- How to give a hand massage
- How to listen to what’s REALLY being said
All of the techniques above can be mastered by anyone who is willing to learn. I don’t care if you’re 5′3, flat-chested, cross-eyed and balding - true beauty shines from within….and when you truly internalize that, it will free you to spark miracles when you’re with the one you love.
And it doesn’t end there, of course….you can extend the above and apply it to what you share emotionally with other important relationships like your close friends and family.
Remember:
- Everyone hears what you say.
- Friends listen to what you say.
- True friends listen to what you DON’T say.
Self-confidence is one of most sexy aspects you can choose to incorporate into your very being. Take advantage of that…and let your passions free. Your lover will thank you for it.
Enjoy,
Barbara Ling
ps - speaking about lovers:
Popularity: 9% [?]
Related posts:
- 3 Easy Tips For Sexy on the Inside and Out
- Are YOU having a selfish affair or relationship?
- Rest - such a good thing!!
- On Dealing With Really Vile Children and Adults and Relationships
- I love it when YOU cry - the benefits of 4 decades of life.
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