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Flattening your fear of showing friendliness
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Morning!
Quick! Don’t just sit there, tell me this!
Whenever you meet new people, are you at ease with confidence and friendly with focus?
Or instead do you shy away and try to blend into the woodwork?
Hmmmm?
The art of self-confidence (and actually appearing friendly and inviting) in a public setting can be quite difficult to master if you’re constantly judging how you appear to others. Online, of course, it’s ‘way easier - you can write beautiful verbiage until the cows come home that compel and attract readers to yearn to learn more. Consider this newsletter:
Why Joining Makes a Real Difference
Knowing that I’ve got an enthusiastic audience is an absolute thrill. By Joining Nicky510 you’re letting me know that YOU are a fan. It’s hard to overstate how much that motivates me. It’s free and it pumps me up to keep making you laugh. Are you ready to take the plunge? Just click on the blue button and come on board!
How could one resist?
But when you’re dealing with real time interactions where all of a sudden, you realize that golly, your hair might be a bit mussed or your onion-adorned lunch might be revealing aromatic whisps of your breath or your concentration is really upon the early-morning joys you experienced when your children played the game "Hide Mom’s coffeecup before she has her first morning sip!", etc….your ability to exude warmth and approachability might be on par with Godzilla’s ability to tie slipknots in MunchkinLand!
But not to fear, gentle reader, not to fear at all! Here are 3 tips for taking control of your self-consciousness…and letting go of your own fears.
- The worst thing someone can say is, Get lost. Think about it. When you meet someone in real life, chances are, they’ve been socialized enough to be even vaguely polite. But even if they’re not….they’re of zero importance to you (because you have yet to know them as a friend). You wouldn’t care if a lamp post told you to get lost, would you? ‘course not, you’d contact Oprah for your spot with your Amazing Speaking Light Apparatus! But seriously….always consider the source. That will never fail you.
- You have a quality the other person lacks. It might be that you’re a superb soprano singer, or you can run rings around other parakeet raisers, or you can throw a side-kick that punches a hole through concrete etc. Everyone has at least one skill, tangible or not, that the rest of the world lacks. If you are constantly self-depreciating yourself, internalize your values. It will help you hold your head up high (onion breath or not).
- Tomorrow is another day. No matter what reaction you receive, the potential embarrassment will soon be over and tomorrow will arrive before you know it. So why not take a chance and make this moment worth remembering in a positive fashion?
Remember - you are a gift! And while arrogance is a no-no with interpersonal relationships, you should always view your personality as something worth valuing. If people are too foolish to be unable to perceive the qualities inherent with you, it’s their loss…not yours.
Enjoy,
Barbara
ps - speaking about friendliness, have you seen:
How To Win Friends and Influence People|Entire Set Delivered to Your Inbox Within 24 Hours!!!
NEW Personal Influence: The Part Played by People in…|
How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie, G|
How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls|
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How to win friends and influence people.Dale Carnegie|
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Subscribe to the comments for this post
Barbara,
I liked to read your post. Reading it was a wonderful way to begin my day. Thanks!
Ulla’s last blog post..Seagulls fighting
My pleasure! Glad you enjoy it.
Best wishes, Barbara
when I visit some blogs then usually I leave 2-3 comments in various posts but I read in DP that in your blog do-follow is enabled after 3 comments
how on earth did you implement that feature? I plan to make my blog dofollow but I don’t want people to spam it so such feature should be cool enough right?