Morning,
My world crashed down on me yesterday.
Yesterday, I learned that the man who had taken care of me and my mom for the past 25 years with regards to our leg/ankle brace/etc…. died.
Bobby Frank was a man who, during his life, helped thousands of children and adults walk without pain. A Certified Orthotist and Prosthetist, he was tireless in driving all over creation to visit children and build for them orthotics, prosthetics and all in all, really make an incredible difference in their lives.
I’d like to invite you to the memorial site I just built for him over at Bobby Frank.net. His funeral is scheduled for today…but mere words cannot capture the essence of the truly good man he was.
Still, though, I tried. Below is my recollection of Bobby…if you knew him, please feel free to add your experiences as well.
My name is Barbara, and I was born with a genetic condition called Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (otherwise known as MHE). Now, this condition causes extra cartilege lumps to grow on your bones and otherwise deform them. While growing up, an exostoses on my left ankled caused 1/2" of fibula bone to stop growing, so my left foot is effectively attached on the side of my leg instead of on the center. Ah well, these things happen.
When I was 19, however, my ankles started paining me…to the point that it became impossible for me to walk up stairs without great discomfort. I vividly remember staring from the bottom of the 50-odd steps to the Math Building and saying to myself, ain’t no way I can walk up that!!
I returned home and my parents took me to an Orthotics doctor…he in turn referred me to Bobby Frank.
Back then, his business was in East Orange. He took quite a lot of time to talk with me and check out my ankles/legs, and told me he could build me a leg brace that went from my ankle to below my knee.
Now, I had never been casted before…that was quite the experience! Bobby’s hands were huge (my foot disappeared in them) but I remember he was so gentle yet firm when positioning my ankle "just right" (in this case, moving it directly below my leg instead of off to the side). He had to hold it motionless until the cast hardened, and we just chatted about this and that during that time.
A week later, the orthotic was completed, and I was knocked senseless by how helpful it was. I could walk again! Heck, I could run! I could jump! In other words, I could be normal once more.
As the years went by, Bobby was always there for me. I remember in my senior year, I was told that I’d never get a job unless I wore a skirt…but my brace was such that it would never fit into a high-heeled shoe. Not to fear; when I told Bobby about that, he had me return to his office and casted a flesh-colored flexible brace that gave enough support for me to walk in style.
Luckily, sanity soon returned (as I realized that high heels are the invention of the devil and NOT for me!) and I reverted back to business pants suits. Life continued….I started working at AT&T, met my husband, had other surgeries for my other various/sundry problems, and life was good.
Enter 8 years ago – I had gained quite a lot of weight and my feet no longer fit into my orthodics. Imagine my surprise when I found that Bobby had moved his business practice close by to where I lived!! Bobby re-casted me and my problems went away.
Because we lived rather close to one another, I started seeing Bobby and his family at our local hobby – garage sales! I’d always chat with him and his wife and he’d ask how my ankles were holding up, how my mom was doing, etc. And I always knew he’d be there if I needed him again.
Enter 1.5 months ago. Over the past 2 years, I had lost 50 pounds and now my feet were too small for my orthotics! I tracked down Bobby’s phone number and asked to come in for a re-cast. We scheduled a time but before it could happen, I found he was in the hospital for various issues.
Three weeks later, I followed up again and discovered he had come home the day before (those past three weeks had him in and out). So I picked up 12 "get well" balloons and three big shiny red apples, and created a huge balloon bouquet for him. I drove over, dropped them off and then figured, I didn’t know if he was feeling completely recovered….I simply left them there on his doorstep.
That afternoon, I was driving my kids to karate (these next series of events are etched indelibly in my mind). Bobby called me (I had just passed the AT&T building on Laurel Ave) and he thanked me for the gift and told me, his grandkids were adoring the balloons! I could hear the smile in his voice and let me tell you, I was so glad I was able to lift his spirits. I told him, "Okay now, you had better listen and get well, or else you’re going to deal with ME!"
And he responded, "Yes Ma’am!" A bit later, we hung up and I continued on my drive.
It turns out, that was the very, very last time I ever heard his voice.
This morning, October 6th, my husband and I were at the local YMCA. I had just finished a round in the Cybex room (the lat pulldown set at 140 pounds) when my phone rang. It was Bobby’s wife, who called me to tell me Bobby had passed away.
Time just plain stopped for me.
All I could think of was, I cannot believe it, I cannot believe it, I cannot believe it. Like an avalanche, all of my memories of Bobby came flooding on me…as I sat there stunned with my knees still under the weight pad. (‘course, the charming lady next to me starting saying in a very loud voice, "You’re not allowed to use cell phones!"….it was like a frog was yapping at an Iron Maiden concert).
Bobby Frank, an incredible man whose very presence on this earth has touched the lives of thousands of children and adults, has died. He cannot be forgotten.
And so, I built this memorial site for him.
Bobby gave me the gift of being able to walk without pain. No matter what mood I was in, he would always be able to cheer me up…and never let me feel sorry for myself but proud for what I could accomplish. And I know….I’m merely one of thousands he has so helped.
It’s funny how things happen. Two days ago, I had just about finished my latest product (a personal branding website) – I taught myself how to export WordPress files/posts/pages, started fine-tuning the plugins I’d include and the like. And when I decided to build the memorial site, whomp, it took me less than an hour to get it all up as my product took care of all the design layout issues.
I’m very glad I was able to get the site up before the funeral service that’s today.
One thing I will always remember…and one thing I want to share with you right now.
When I told my friends that I was getting together a balloon bouquet for Bobby, one person said, you’re not a close friend, why bother? Let his family do that.
The thing is, though….good wishes and positive thoughts help no matter from whom they are received. Hearing the joy in Bobby’s voice when he called me to talk about them (and also how much his grandkids were adoring bopping around those balloons) really made me grateful that I had taken the time to make it happen….lifting the spirits of those about whom you care has to be one of the best things you can do in this life.
So! If you have a friend or family member or just plain someoneabout whom you care who is feeling down or sad….take the time to drive over some balloons or other ‘feel better soon’ thingees. It really can make a profound difference in your recipient…and lift their spirits besides.
And that can only be described as a Very Good Thing Indeed.
Rest in peace, Bobby. You were truly one of a million….and my life is blessed for having known you.
Sincerely,
Barbara Ling
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