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To HELL with superMom and superEntrepreneur - what about superMe?
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Morning all!
Today is the ever-joyful Education Association conference scheduled at the Atlantic City Casinos! Okay, true, no, not the casinos (and jeepers, their webmaster is ‘waaaay behind the times, as it’s updated to the remarkably distant past of 2007. Makes me glad that the technology teacher of my hometown is an expert on website design!!) but the convention center. And that means….my kids…they be at home! Wheeeee!
So! Today I gave my kids off and they’re currently rattling around and taking it easy (yes! even Mean Mommy Ling is capable of surprising kindness!), while my husband and I cleaned out more of the garage and tackled work as well. And while I was flexing my massively huge biceps and deltoids and effortlessly slinging about our MommyMobile and glass shelving (because remember, nothing says LOVE! like glass shelving), I realized something most important.
I’m busy being SuperMom and SuperWife and SuperEntrepreneur….but whatever happened to SuperMe?
I’m pretty certain I’m not the only individual with this issue as well. Think about it - how do you define yourself? Do you introduce yourself as "Fang’s Mom" or "Spike’s Spouse"?
Or do you say instead, hi! I’m me! Me me ME!
You see, most of my waking hours is spent either Mom-izing or Wife-izing or Business-izing…the only time I ME-ize is during my beloved karate katas and sparring. But surely…I’m much more than just that!
There’s Barbara the mom and Barbara the wife and Barbara the webmaster and Barbara the All-Powerful KSH hacker and …. whatever happened to Barbara the woman?
Whatever happened…indeed.
This realization flattened me earlier today because I remembered - this weekend, I had planned on kidnapping the husband for a few hours and taking a nice long walk on the boardwalk MINUS the kids (can you imagine? Grown-up time!) and enjoying each other’s company.
But then…I also was offered the opportunity to train up north in various aspects of Martial Arts this weekend as well.
What to do? Which to choose?
My husband, of course, is a superior priority over just about anything. And yet…it really IS terrific to be able to be just "Barbara the woman" and indulge in pastimes only I appreciate…without feeling that I’m neglecting those other 76 various "Barbara The Fill-In-The-Blank" sides of me.
And then, like a blinding flash of, well, common sense, it came to me - I could do double the driving on the weekend…kidnap the husband on Saturday, and then dedicate Sunday to my own personal pursuits.
I floated this idea to the husband and was met with a resounding "JEEPERS BARB, WHAT A TERRIFIC IDEA!"
You see, I firmly believe in honoring all the different aspects of WHO you are…but also in NOT losing site of your deepest, most personal side as well.
One of the benefits I have my marriage is that both my husband and I can happily give each other permission to joyfully go bananas with whatever activity is in question. For example, I am NOT a movie-watcher in general, but my husband adores decompressing via this activity. And he’s a lover, not a fighter…and bemusedly accepts the fact I adore sparring with folks 74 times more skill than me and ending up with bruises in the most fascinating of places.
Thus, we don’t feel threatened by other activities that take us apart from one another, because we both know our love is more stable than diamonds.
Still, though, it’s nice to have couple-time too! Thus….by dint of my utterly magnificent common sense approach to the starkly different aspects of my personality, I’m able to satisfy BOTH.
And that, of course, can only be described as a Very Good Thing Indeed!
Wouldn’t you say? 
Enjoy,
Barbara Ling
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