Aren't commitments hell sometimes?

Think about it. You have an obligation to someone else! You have to put in the time, energy and enthusiasm to meet and surpass their needs!

Ever realize that is what your cherished partner might think about you?

In a healthy relationship, commitments go beyond a mere "I owe you." They're not given because you have to...they're given because you *want* to. And that makes all the difference.

Human nature being what it is, often we try to get out of our commitments. For example, if one is at the end of their rope, and is then loaned money to replay various and sundry debts larger than a schoolbus, one is then commited to repaying it (in 97.34% of the cases). Yet how often, when the times are good, does the importance of commitment fade from memory (just think student loans)?

To wholeheartedly commit to someone else means being secure in your own power, abilities and desirability. It means you understand the obligations and are ready, willing and able to meet them with your eyes wide open.

This way, you are almost never aback by what's required - you've already internalized it and are comfortable with it.

Commitments can go beyond family and friends as well - they can span idealisms, cherished beliefs and the like. I recently experienced this myself like so:

Long long ago, back before the earth's crust cooled and there was no WWW, there were newsgroups (a way to communicate with thousands of people via text message posting). Newsgroups, btw, are still alive and well today. Anywhos, back in 1991, I created the newsgroups rec.pets.birds because I had I had a fascination with parrots. Later that year, I bought a yellow-collared macaw named Angus.

Angus and I lived together happily for 6-odd years. He was a one-person birdie, though, and after my children were born, tried adding babyFingers to his menu. I had no choice but to find him a better place. That placed turned out to be Nancy's Parrot Sanctuary, a wonderful place run by an incredible lady. Angus was happy there for 4 years. So was I - I had met my commitment to Angus (parrots live 50-80 years).

Nancy battled cancer in 2001 and she died towards the end of the year. I chose to assume my commitment to Angus once again, and found a new parrot sanctuary to bring him (Foster Parrots up near Boston, MA, a 271 mile drive).

Now, granted there were some folks who think to this day I was a ding-dong for driving all those miles simply for a parrot (and his mate as well). However, I personally felt fantastic because I still met my commitments I had chosen to accept those years ago, when I brought Angus into my life. To hell with what anyone else negatively thought.

You'll find more ideas about choosing your commitments wisely within The Inner Personal Edge.

Continue to enjoy your visit!

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