"Many people will walk in and out of your life,
but only true friends
will leave footprints in your heart." -- Author Unknown

When I was a knee-high lass (okay, maybe about 10 years after that), my mom once told me that if I was truly lucky, I would find and keep at least one true friend throughout my life.

I've never forgotten that.

Over 14 years ago, I read an incredible essay about friendship by Emily Wilkens in the Star Ledger. It went something like this.

A FRIEND IS ALWAYS A PRICELESS GEM AND YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD FOR MORE by Emily Wilkens

It's wonderful when friendships thrive over the years. It's wonderful, too, when you make new friends and the good news is : You're never too old to do so.

I thought about this recently when I treated myself to a long long-distance phone call to a friend I've had since high school. Because we live in different cities, we don't see each other that often but, thanks to the telephone, we talk. When we do, it's as if we'd just seen each other yesterday. The years fall away and we're girls again, perhaps even closer because of all the history we've shared over the years.

It's not as easy to develop tht easy and close rapport with new acquaintances, but it's possible. I have two relatively new "girlfriends" I often see for lunch or a movie or call when I have good or bad news to share.

New or old, there's nothing so comforting as a friend.

Friendships often flounder from lack of attention. You're too busy so you forget to pick up the phone, write a letter or send a birthday card. For shame. Friendship is important and keeping in touch forges links.

When life is going badly, we sometimes avoid seeing or calling friends because we're depressed but that's just when a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Whether you write or phone, you'll feel better for sharing your problem with someone who cares about you and who would, if she could, make it better.

There's no need to carry the full load by yourself. In time of need and trouble, it is very comforting to have friends you can turn to. People give of themselves when they're needed - just as you would if someone reached out to you.

During life, friendships come and go. Some are lost for petty reasons - because we misinterpret intentions, because we hid hurt or anger instead of clearing up misunderstandings that grow into mountains.

Friends can speak candidly but not cruelly to each other. Tact helps friendships to flourish.

As for making new friends, it's easier than you think. Be friendly, helpful, supportive. Appreciate what others do for you. Find things you can do for them, for when it comes right down to it, friends being there for each other is really what it's all about.

The month before I read that, I finally got around to calling a friend of mine from college and high school whom I hadn't seen for about 5 years. She and I had gone our separate ways, she into graduate school and I into driving my managers crazy. Well, when we went out to dinner, it was as though those 5 years' of silence never had happened; we were able to establish our rapport again and discuss life, liberty and our respective SOs. And now, 14 years later, we still touch base often. She is a very dear, wonderful person in my life.

True friendship is a gift that doesn't insist on on guilt trips for returned favors. When you offer your friendship, the other person most likely didn't demand it...it was a gift you offered of your own free will. If it is not appreciated, you simply chose the wrong friend to give it to.

Best friends are there for you when the going gets tough and everyone else got going and left you behind. Now ask yourself, is there someone like that in my life? And if so, does that person know how much I treasure their gift of friendship? And taking that a step further - is there someone I cherish enough to be their friend as well?

On the CDROM that comes with The Inner Personal Edge, you'll find bunches of categorized resources that you can import into your browser and have at your fingertips. Included, of course, are several e-card sites that let you send custom-tailored friendship messages that go beyond your typical greeting salutation.

Continue to enjoy your visit!

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