You want someone to talk, listen to a TV commercial. You want someone that *communicates*, ah, that's another matter entirely.

Let's now reverse this. When *you* talk to someone, do you want to be received as yet another TV advertisement (where's that remote control?), or do you want to achieve your own personal goals by getting your point across in a way that makes people actually *listen*?

So many times, we are so confident of our message that we ignore the way it is delivered. For example, how many times has a person ever approached you with an agenda in an aggressive manner? They might have your best interests at heart, mind you, but the way they talk makes your ears freeze over and your fingers itch to wrap themselves around the messenger's throat. This is an example of ineffective communication (something, I'm sure, you yourself would prefer not to invoke).

Effective communications involves not only words but an appreciation of the listener's emotional state as well. Think about your hot buttons - things that make you see red for no reason except that they get under your skin more painfully than 38 wasp stings. What happens if you unintentionally push your listener's hot buttons when making a point? Will that point be made so they're open to agreeing with you, or will they instead look around for an anvil to whack you with?

When I talk with my friends, loved ones, colleagues, etc., I always have an agenda. I want to get my point across and actually have the listeners, well, *listen* and not just hear! I don't just talk ot hear my lovely melodious voice...I want to achieve my goals. This means I always have to consider the best way to approach my audience. If I'm talking to my husband, bringing up my concerns when he's pre-occupied with fixing the stereo is a sure bet for achieving no results. If I'm speaking at a seminar, being dynamic and exciting to my audience is far more effective than droning on with all the passion of a kumquat.

Your point is not what's important, the way you say it, is! Because if folks don't listen to you in the first place, you've gained absolutely zero from your efforts.

Sprinkled throughout The Inner Personal Edge are creative ways of getting that point of yours across. It even contains ideas for those people who are afraid to speak their mind yet still want to let their point of view be known. You'll find them extremely helpful in your continuing journey.

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